The calendar had turned to September; Labor Day had come and gone, and that meant two things.

One was that the new season of the National Checker League (NCL) would get underway.

The other was that kids across the land were all back in school.

It so happens that these two events were connected, for it was the policy of the NCL to do some outreach in the schools during September, in the hopes of inspiring the scholastic checker clubs and players to seek bigger and better accomplishments.

Nearly everyone in the NCL took part, and that of course included Marvin J. Mavin, whom all regular readers know to be the superstar Captain of the Detroit Doublejumpers. Although Marvin liked working in the inner city with disadvantaged kids, this year he was assigned to an elite private school in the upper echelon Detroit suburb of Grosse Pointe, Michigan.

Now, Marvin wasn't completely thrilled with this assignment, but he was a trooper and he would do his duty. On a Thursday, when the Doublejumpers had an off day, Marvin was in his study paging through a few books in order to select material for his upcoming lecture at Grosse Point Modern Thinkers' Academy. He thought the problem below would be a good one to illustrate some points about how to think in checkers--- the right thing for the Thinkers' Academy, he reasoned.

But before he could work on this idea any further, he noticed a pile of unopened mail on the side of his desk, where the butler must have left it at some point. (Marvin's wife, Priscilla, was a very highly paid CEO at the international conglomerate, Rust Belt Holdings; she and Marvin lived in a chic 5,000 square foot condo and had a part-time domestic staff.)

"Hope it ain't all bills," Marvin said, but then realized it couldn't be; all the bills went directly to Priscilla's private CPA. There was a certain amount of fan mail, forwarded from the Doublejumpers from among the thousands of letters Marvin received each week, some advertising that the butler decided not to discard, and so on. But what caught Marvin's eye was a letter from none other than the Grosse Pointe Modern Thinkers' Academy.

Marvin opened the envelope. Inside was a letter and a form with what seemed to be a return envelope. He read the letter first.

"Dear Mr. Mavin,

"Thank you for volunteering to give a lecture to the many checker enthusiasts at our school. However, given your reputation, we would like to avoid any difficulties, and so we ask you to first answer the questions on the attached sheet. Please answer fully and carefully. Upon receipt of your submission, our governing board will review your answers and decide if we wish to continue or withdraw our invitation to speak.

"Thank you in advance,

"Grosse Pointe Modern Thinkers' Academy Board of Governors."

Marvin was a bit non-plussed. "Hey, you didn't extend no invitation, I was volunteered," he said to himself, "and besides, what's this about my 'reputation' and stuff?"

He went on to read over the form, which contained the following.

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Political Correctness Evaluation

1. Should dogs and cats have separate bathrooms?

2. Should ants with blue eyes be placed in a protected category?

3. Should critical cricket theory be taught in schools?

4. Should hiring take into account historical inequities in preferences for breakfast eggs?

5. Should non-politically correct people be permanently banished from civilization?

Submit your answers at your earliest convenience in the enclosed envelope.

Note: The Post Office will not deliver mail that is unstamped.

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Marvin looked at the envelope. "Gotta provide my own stamp, even. Gee. I don't know about this. Those questions, I mean like who ever heard of blue eyed ants and stuff?"

Marvin decided to wait until Priscilla got home later that evening. He would talk it over with her.

Dinner was normally at about 8; Priscilla typically worked until 7 and was home around 7:30. After dinner, which was prepared by Priscilla's private chef and consisted of a Cobb salad, panko-crusted mahimahi, a medley of steamed fresh vegetables and Potatoes Anna, followed by a lemon sorbet, Marvin showed Priscilla the letter and the form. They were seated on Chesterfields in the living room with cups of freshly brewed Colombian coffee, flavored with just a touch of cardamom.

"Well, dear," Priscilla said, "it seems reasonable to me. After all they need to protect the kids from incorrect speech and unacceptable ideas. It's important to be politically correct and that should be learned at an early age. There are things that children need to learn that they must believe in, and support. Protecting blue-eyed ants is just one of them. Eliminating persistent and pervasive breakfast egg preference inequality is another. I'm sure you understand. You could say the same about critical cricket theory. Why, did you know ... "

"Aw, honey," Marvin broke in. "I don't know nothing about that kinda stuff. I, like, play professional checkers, and over the board there ain't no blue eyed ants or cricket theory or nothing. We just play the game and the best player wins. We keep it kinda simple. Everybody gets the same chance at winning, or losing, or whatever."

Priscilla folded her arms. That was a sure sign she was getting annoyed. "Well, dear, you can tell the school that and watch what happens. You'll get canceled ... and maybe even exiled from civilization!" She laughed. "I'm going to bed now. You do the right thing, okay, dear husband of mine?"

Priscilla headed off down the corridor towards their bedroom.

Marvin thought for a minute and then muttered, "Yup, do the right thing. That's what I'll do."

Marvin went into his study, carrying the letter and form, and tossed them into the antique 1910 Victor wastebasket.

To be concluded.

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Marvin once again appears to be headed for some potential trouble. However we'll set that aside at least long enough for you to solve today's problem. When you're ready, click on Read More to see the solution, and tune in again next month for the story's conlusion.

Solution

1.	...	28-24*
2.	5-9---A	19-15*
3.	12-16	30-25*
4.	9-13	24-20*
5.	16-19	25-21*
6.	17-22	18-14
7.	22-26	20-16
8.	26-31	15-10

White Wins.

A---This long variation is at least as if not more interesting than the main line.

2.	7-11	24-20*
3.	5-9	30-26*
4.	17-21	26-22*
5.	9-13	19-15*
6.	21-25	15x8
7.	25-30*	18-15*
8.	30-26	22-18*
9.	26-23	8-3*
10.	23x14	15-10*
11.	14x7	3x10
12.	13-17	10-15

Numerous other moves win here as well.

13.	17-22	20-16
14.	12x19	15x24
15.	22-26	24-27
16.	26-30	27-23
17.	30-25	23-26

White Wins. An excellent and instructive problem attributed to Prof. W. Fraser.

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We expect that some readers will not care for the theme of our story. To them, we repeat that The Checker Maven fully supports equality and a fair and equal chance for every human being to succeed and find happiness. We don't tolerate prejudice, discrimination, or hatred toward any person or group for any reason whatsoever. But we also don't support silliness and taking offense when none has been given, or carrying political correctness to an absurd extreme. If our story offends you, our apologies, but we aren't going to "cancel" the article.